sespursongles:

chwhore:

the very idea that an identity will crumble to dust if it is ‘invalidated’ i think reveals the constructed nature of that particular identity. for instance, i don’t need anybody to validate my identity as a gay man because i AM a gay man. by my very nature i’m sexually inclined toward men and if tomorrow i were to forget everything i know i would still be sexually attracted to the male sex and my brain and body would respond in that way. it is the simple, brute reality of my existence and whether or not that is confirmed by those around me does not negate the inescapable reality of it all. i don’t have to worry about my ‘identity’ being valid because its reality is not contingent on how/what i or others feel/believe about it.

That’s also why I hate when people call sexual orientation a “label” and act like refusing to label their sexuality (or their sex/gender) is a bold and significant move, when it’s just pointless teenage-y “other people are sheep” self-absorption. Your sex and sexuality are a fact, a state of being, you can label them whatever you want or not label them at all and it won’t change a thing about them.

What matters is reality, not identity. Positing your identity as emphatically, meaningfully unimportant (”labels are for cans”) or as sacred and all-important (”misgendering is violence”, “invalidating identities is oppression”) are two sides of the same stupid individualistic postmodernist coin.