what is your deepest darkest sexual fantasy?

sleepycloudkitten:

me. sitting in a claw-foot bathtub, dressed in frilly baby pink lingerie and a crown. candles, flowers, and cats are scattered throughout a beautiful, spacious bathroom. i lift my hand lazily and a glass of moscato and a box of chocolates appear. every person on my block list forms a line and, one by one, drops their credit card into the empty tub while i snack. they leave immediately afterward, out of my life and thoughts forever. when at last the final cretin shambles out, i reach my arms above my head and languidly stretch. credit cards shift around me, a cascade of plastic in every color of the rainbow. finally, a blunt appears in my hand and i online shop for hours.

and then i climax by reading my shipping confirmation emails. xoxo