Vagisil

blackpoeticinjustice:

So, few years ago, I came across this soap called “Vagisil”. We all know what it is, but my ass didnt know what it was really for. All I knew was that women used it.

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One day, I took a shower, and I forgot my new soap in my room I brought from Duane Reade (pharmacy store). Too lazy to get out to get soap, I see the Vagisil soap. I read the bottle, and it’s sayin shit like “build confidence”, “blocks/eliminates odor”, and im standing here taking a shower like okay im ugly but confidence can carry a nigga a long way! So I took it and poured some on a wash cloth and wash my whole body with it. Now I’m feelin more clean and this would definitely boost my confidence

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Now, the bottle is pink, but idgaf. I knew it was for women. Deodorant for women works best for some guys for god knows what reason, so I didnt care if it was for girls. All i knew was that this shit was gonna block my body odor and boost my confidence.

I didnt even use my new soap. I stuck with Vagisil for a good 2 weeks. I live in a house with 4 other women, but I couldnt believe they was hiding this shit from me. I was really feelin myself – for a minute.

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So one day, at home, my aunt has the bottle in-hand. She goes around asking my two cousins and grandmother if they’ve been using her Vagisil. They said no. So she goes to my room, and asks me:

“Hey, this is going to sound so random, and this may not involve you, but have you been using this?” She shows me the Vagisil…

“Uhhh… yeahhh, I have. I have, actually. Im sorry but that Vagisil is lit! That shit really protects you from odor. I’ll buy another one, its on me, my fault that I been using your Vagisil.” My aunts face starts smirkin’ and she’s crine!

She goes: “Dev, Vagisil is for women… Women… For a reason.” (Emphasis on the “Women”). Im listen to her like she takin this shit too seriously. its  not that deep. it’s just soap.

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So I pause my PS3, take off my headset and I’m like: “What reason? What reason is it for women? Just because it says feminine and the bottle is pink, doesn’t eliminate the fact it’s just body soap, its not that serious.”

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My aunts eyes got big and she goes… “Jesus Ch-… D, Vagisil is for women’s private areas…”

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So I’m sittin there lookin’ at her like: “Private as in her pussy?” but she closes the door quick and started dying, all she could do was nod because of how hard she was laughin.

“So you tellin me I been washin my body with coochie soap for 1-2 weeks?? All that confidence I been buildin up came from soap made for girls’ coochies??” I had a serious look on my face and my aunt was still nodding and laughing, eventually, that attracted the whole family to my room.

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My aunt, bein the loudmouth she is, tells the whole house about how i been washing my ass with coochie soap for the past week or two. now the whole family dyin of laughter that night.

But I wouldnt no that shit was for yo pussy, tf? I wouldnt think the term “Vagisil” would hint that its soap for yo vagina. I just wanted to smell good. That bottle said “Light & Clean” and “Confidence” and “Eliminates odor” and I was sold. 

Anyways, i didnt use it again since. I paid my aunt back for the bottle. If it was meant for your pussy, why didnt the bottle say so? Beatin ‘round the bush n’ shit. Just say “Blocks Vaginal Odor” and I would’ve steered clear but nope! People out here treatin “Vagina” like its a cuss word. It said “feminine” instead, and for 2 weeks I been washin my balls with coochie soap all along.

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