ignis-divine-eleison:

hashtagdion:

Straight people: I’m straight.

Gay people: I’m gay.

“Bisexual” celebrities: I’m like a tub of tomato soup that someone spilled blue paint in. Wait fuck, tomato soup cans have labels and I FUCKING HATE LABELS. Girls and guys are both attractive though. 🤷🏾‍♂️ Noooo I’m not dating someone of my same sex. 🤢 Or am I? 😏 Gays, you can deposit your paycheck directly into my PayPal at this email address.

istg i feel like halsey could’ve said that