anachronic-cobra:

Human: *biting into a ridiculously hot pepper* AAUUUGHHH

Alien: HUMAN! HAVE YOU BEEN POISONED? WHAT DO I DO!?

Human: *coughing, red, and watery-eyed* n-nah, it’s cool bro.

Alien: I must ensure none of these devil plants are still hidden in the food supply! Who put them there? Was it an assassination attempt?! Who would–

Human: *takes a bite of the pepper again, wheezing through the burn*

Alien: …wh…why…?

Human: Because we can, mostly

Alien: …fuck it, fuck you, fuck this devil plant, I’m out